That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i came on her dog
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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