It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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