oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
