Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
