There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Randomize
