whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
