You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
