You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
