Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
