She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
