dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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