he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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