There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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