White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
