Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
