Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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