I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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