Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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