At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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