she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
