I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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