just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
