Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
