Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
