A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Congratulations! We have a period
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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