Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
