$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
