btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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