Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
