Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I think a kid would responsible me up
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
