I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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