I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
