Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
