At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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