My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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