why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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