I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
So much Jack, so little girl.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
