Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
