awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
