I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
