K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
