I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
This is the prime rib incident all over again
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
