well I can't set my house on fire every night
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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