What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
