soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
