i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
