I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
