I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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