Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize
