He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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